{"id":70,"date":"2006-03-07T22:16:00","date_gmt":"2006-03-08T05:16:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/?p=70"},"modified":"2007-08-24T16:26:29","modified_gmt":"2007-08-24T21:26:29","slug":"a-pleasant-conversation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/?p=70","title":{"rendered":"A Pleasant Conversation…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Nyxity: Though in all truth, I’m like a six year old or something… <\/o:p>
\nMake: six years old? <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Yeah. <\/o:p>
\nMake: how old are u really and why do u consider yourself 6 years old? <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I did not really… uh… grow up. <\/o:p>Emotionally and all of that crap. <\/o:p>
\nMake: blah <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMerk: How so? <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMake: as long as u know right from wrong <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMerk: Do you throw tantrums? <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Just recently I had my first time going into a convenience store and bought something. <\/o:p>
\nMake: and do nothing really stupid <\/span><\/o:p>your grown up <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMake: how old are you nyxity? <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I tend to forget to breathe during that sort of stuff… and… <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: yeah. <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: your age. <\/o:p>
\nMake: yea <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I was not taught many life skills. <\/o:p>
\nMake: forget to breathe? <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Yeah. <\/o:p>I do that often. <\/o:p>
\nMake: O.o <\/span><\/o:p>mmm <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Yeah… <\/o:p>
\nMake: i thought u learn that naturally… <\/span><\/o:p> as a baby <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: If I do something like run to get something, I realize I have not breathed until I have done the task. <\/o:p>
\nMake: wow <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMake: mmm <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMake: your a guy or a girl? <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: The few times I have tried buying things on my own, I forget to breathe and when done and out of the store, I realize I have not breathed and I feel sick. <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I question gender really. Most of the time, I say guy, but I am actually a girl. <\/o:p>
\nMake: maybe your just very, very nervous <\/span><\/o:p>when your buying things<\/span> <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Apparently. <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: :\/ <\/o:p>
\nMake: relax <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Heh. <\/o:p>They say I have an anxiety disorder. <\/o:p>
\nMake: the store dude in there is trying to make money. not scare you <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMake: yea <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMake: maybe you do have anxiety disorder <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Oh, I know that. <\/span>It is just a natural progression for me though. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMake: just try your best to calm down. get a friend to come with you the next time u buy something <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Laughs. <\/o:p>
\nMake: make sure he or she keeps reminding you to breath <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I have no friends. <\/o:p>I think we established that once before actually. <\/o:p>
\nMerk: What about the twins? <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Can they go with me into a store? <\/o:p>
\nMerk: Oh <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMerk: Nope <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I am talking about the kind you can feel, touch, see and hear at the same time… <\/o:p> in other words, “real friends” as my psychiatrist puts it. <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Bleh… <\/o:p> I am fine with cybernetic ones. <\/o:p>
\nMerk: Same here <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMerk: Some of the best people I have met have been right here in the chat room. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: “Real ones” cause too much stress for me. <\/o:p>
\nMerk: And they tend to impose. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Yep. <\/o:p>
\nMerk: *yeah, they <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Anyway… I have been fine enough with how I have live so far… in terms of how I do socializing. <\/o:p>Apparently it is not good enough. <\/o:p>*Dodgy* <\/o:p>
\nMerk: I have tried socializing, going to parties and outings. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Those… would bore me beyond end. <\/o:p>
\nMerk: I figured it would get easier, but it doesn’t. <\/span><\/o:p>It was boring, awkward, and frustrating. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Yep. <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: :\/ <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: huh… <\/o:p>Apparently is is now dark… <\/o:p>Gotta look for a light. <\/o:p>
\nMerk: kk <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: That ever happen to you? <\/o:p>
\nMerk: Did what happen? <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: The day is freaking bright and then the next time you look up it is pitch black? <\/o:p>
\nMerk: Yeah. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Sort of helps that I keep the shades down all the time though. <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: \ud83d\ude00 <\/o:p>
\nMerk: Sunlight’s harsh. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMerk: …whatever it looks like. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: So, has the Ceep and Nekotu been entering here off an on since their comp has fried? <\/o:p>
\nMerk: Not that I know of, until now.<\/span> <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Nods. Figured. <\/o:p>
\nMerk: They completely vanished from Fandom, forum and chat <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I tend to as well, for certain intervals, but I figure that is normal for me. <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: You ever talk with Blue? <\/o:p>
\nMerk: Yeah. <\/span><\/o:p>She’s silly, but sweet. <\/span><\/o:p>Silly being a good thing, imo.. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: :\/ <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Curious. <\/o:p>I sort of avoid talking to her… she always gets the wrong idea, and I usually have no idea what she is saying. -__- <\/o:p> I like her… <\/o:p> sometimes I want to comment on something… <\/o:p>nope… wrong idea. <\/o:p>*dodgy* <\/o:p>
\nMerk: I think she gets her wires crossed, English not being her first language. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMerk: soblue: Merk, u r okay Ponperipon: heh soblue: I love fat guys <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMerk: lol <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: heh <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: :\/ <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Oh, I realize that well. <\/o:p>I just have no idea what she is saying and when I do she also has no idea what I am saying… blah, blah… <\/o:p>I sort of give up. <\/o:p>Gets me nowhere other than making her leery of me. <\/o:p>
\nMake has left the room. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Scared him off. <\/o:p>
\nMerk: He does that a lot. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Nods <\/o:p>
\nMerk: Bad net connection, I think. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Still, I just like typing that. <\/o:p>Along with the bit about eating people. <\/o:p>
\nMerk: Cannibal <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: ‘Don’t eat meat in real life… might as well be a cybernetic cannibal. <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Yep! <\/o:p>
\nMerk: Hannibal, even. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMerk: Living off a dream? <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: EH? <\/o:p>
\nMerk: I thought that was what you meant. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: heh <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: nah… <\/o:p>
\nMerk: Gaining sustenance by eating people, cybernetically. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: it just is oddly fun. <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: [Link]<\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I’m left handed. <\/o:p>
\nMerk: “Forbidden” <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: shame. <\/o:p>
\nMake entered the room. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMerk: Welcome back <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: ’cause I hell am not letting you see my account. <\/o:p>I’m paranoid like that. <\/o:p>
\nMerk: Don’t blame you. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Half the stuff I do, is likely only seen by two to four people out of the entire earth’s population. <\/o:p>
\nMake: thx <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMake: nyxity, it may be hard <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: *Lost* <\/o:p>
\nMake: but i think the first thing you need to get is to make a friend <\/span><\/o:p>outside of the internet <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Yeah, that is what the psychiatrist lady and such are getting at. <\/o:p>
\nMake: mmm <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I’m willing to try… but the thing is… I don’t like hanging out and junk. <\/o:p>
\nMake: mmm <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: In the end I’d have the person meet me on the internet and we’d do everything there. <\/o:p>
\nMerk: We need more otakus in the world. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMake: i’m not a big fan of hanging out either unless the friend lives very close by <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I did not even do that that much when I had a friend who was my next door neighbor. <\/o:p>
\nMerk: Bah, I’m being booted. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMerk: Back in a few <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMerk has left the room. <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I mean, hanging out was just like… lounging around in a room and just… doing nothing. <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I have better ways to spend my time, despite people would argue that I’m doing nothing. <\/o:p>If not, it was driving around in a car and wasting fuel money… <\/o:p>
\nMake: when<\/span><\/span> <\/span>hang out, me and my friend would either watch anime, movies or play video games <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMake: thats bout it <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Never knew anyone who liked anime around my areas. <\/o:p>
\nMake: i’m sure theres someone. u just didn’t meet them yet <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Well, once in a while I saw a few… <\/o:p> but… <\/o:p>
\nMake: too shy to speak? <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: We were on different spectrums. <\/o:p>
\nMake: mmm <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMake: i c… <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMake: mmm <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: You have your fanatics, those who just like reading, those who are into whacking each other with things for roleplay… video gamers… <\/o:p>
\nMake: try this <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I never really found anyone who was like my case. <\/o:p>
\nMake: write a not saying “remember to breath” <\/span><\/o:p>put it in your wallet <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: heh <\/o:p>
\nMake: so the next time u buy something from a store <\/span><\/o:p>you would see that note <\/span><\/o:p>as u take out your cash then you better remember to breath <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: my last endeavor, which was getting a coke from a convenience store, I was chanting that in my head. <\/o:p>
\nMake: mmm <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I likely looked like a zombie. <\/o:p> I did remember to breathe. <\/o:p>I just don’t remember anything else. <\/o:p>\ud83d\ude00 <\/o:p>
\nMake: hey, at least thats a improvement. next time, try to remember to breath and what you were buying <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Well, you are talking to a person who will either forget to eat but remember to sleep, or forget to sleep but remember to eat. <\/o:p>
\nMake: everything takes practice. you’ll remember it will sooner ot later <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Yeah, well I’m practicing on things people do just by… um… <\/o:p>nature. <\/o:p>
\nMake: you can do it! <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: laughs <\/o:p>
\nMake: don’t give up <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I try anything… <\/o:p>I think that is the only reason I have survived so far. <\/o:p>
\nMake: don’t worry if it’s natural or not <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I don’t. <\/o:p>As, said, it is my nature… so I guess… I am trying to go against my nature until it becomes something different. <\/o:p>I mean, when I do things like the whole getting something from a store, I’m not afraid of people… I’m just lost as hell in a sense. <\/o:p>I know what I have to do, I know how to do it… <\/o:p> my body just does not want to or something. <\/o:p>
\nMake: i c <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMake: i think i know how it feels somewhat <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: It is so fun being a screw up. <\/o:p>*Smirks* <\/o:p>
\nMake: sometimes when i walk into a store, i just don’t feel right unless i buy something<\/span> <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I guess that is why I function on the Internet so well. <\/o:p>
\nMake: doesn’t feel right to not buy something <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Yeah… that is the way of it. <\/o:p>
\nMake: so i end up buying something. cept your situation is a bit different <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: You just sort of see the people behind the counter eyeing you sometimes. \ud83d\ude00 <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: If I could control my body from far away rather than inside, I’d do just dandy I think. <\/o:p>
\nMake: mmm <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMake: try this… <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Heaven forbid if I figure out how to play video games. <\/o:p>
\nMake: listen to a mp3 player or a cd player with your favorite songs <\/span><\/o:p>while inside a store<\/span> <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I’d probably forget what I’m doing then. <\/o:p>
\nMake: no you won’t. you’ll remember <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: You’d be surprised. <\/o:p>
\nMake: and you’ll ignore whatever noise is outside your headphones <\/span><\/o:p>
\nMake: just try it. it might work <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I’m the type who will enter the kitchen. I’ll be going to check if my clothes are done. I walk passed the trashcan and say, I need to change that when I go pass again. The clothes are not dry, I turn and tell myself I’ll change the trash and take it out then… <\/o:p>I leave the room, go by the trashcan, and forget about telling myself to do the thing completely. Then an hour later or so I’ll remember. <\/o:p>I’ll take out the trash. On my way back in I’ll say, “Okay, I need to replace the bag now”. <\/o:p>I enter, I walk right pass the trashcan. Sometime later, I’ll remember. <\/o:p>Simply put, being me is… interesting. <\/o:p>
\nMake: mmm… it sounds kinda cute… <\/span><\/o:p>being a klutz and all… <\/span><\/o:p>>__< <\/span><\/o:p>
\nNyxity: Laughs <\/o:p>
\nNyxity: I have never been called that before. <\/o:p>
\nMake: anyway, try your best at remembering! <\/span><\/o:p>everyone has stuff that they are good at and stuff that they are bad at<\/span> <\/span><\/o:p><\/span>
\nNyxity: Nice to know I’m bad at thinking.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nyxity: Though in all truth, I’m like a six year old or something… Make: six years old? Nyxity: Yeah. Make: how old are u really and why do u consider yourself 6 years old? Nyxity: I did not really… uh… grow up. Emotionally and all of that crap. Make: blah Merk: How so? Make: as […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-70","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-diversions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=70"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=70"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=70"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=70"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}