I read an entry in Kyle\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s journal. Psychology in regards of control was the main topic. The example was rape. The topic always was something of intrigue I suppose. Oddly, thoughts he wrote were something I had considered a long time ago. It is quite logical.<\/p>\n
Still though, for a person such as I, there is symbolism, sentimentality and all of that lovey-dovey nonsense. Amusing when I think on it along with the story I have mentioned from time to time in this journal. Power and weakness, dominance and submission tend to be a theme throughout. Sometimes it seems that it connects with my past, but then that is just me needed to make silly connections for the fun of it.<\/p>\n
Power. The word causes me to think of manipulation. The other night it was mentioned in a conversation. Before it ended though, enough was said to make me quiet. Humans are strange creatures.<\/p>\n
Defense mechanisms and how they give people power\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 it is rather sad I think. I know my key word of power and defense. It is vagueness. My friend\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s is manipulation. I suppose it is saddening on both accounts. The thought of having someone I care about manipulating me without my even realizing is considerably depressing. It causes me to think of my girls actually. Small world, I suppose.<\/p>\n
When I ponder on it even more, I suppose I am just as bad. Though vagueness is not really manipulating, it is still a fault. You only let the person see the cover and not the book. Perhaps that is something similar to manipulation. That is depressing.<\/p>\n
I suppose the lighter end though is that I have people I do not do that with. With Kyle, if I ever was vague I likely never realized. It was later some of it was on purpose – shields and the like. I think I used to be very open with my mother. I probably still am. I am not certain if I am vague with her now. I do not think I am. Then there are Eileen and Erin. I am open with them much like how I was with Kyle. The four people stated relatively only receive vagueness when it is something unimportant like when I have an odd thought that is irrelevant.<\/p>\n
What more on this topic is\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 it is a pity humans cannot be like it is with animals. Animals are truthful. You can easily talk to a pet. You can tell when the animal is leery, happy, wanting attention, wanting to be left alone\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 Ha\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 I suppose that is why it is so easy to be easy going with my pet. I can easily say I love him. There is no fear of judgment. I think I feel almost exactly that way with Eileen and Erin as well, truthfully. Soul siblings. Heh.<\/p>\n
Neither was on tonight, which saddened me. Instead, I was in the chat. I did not stay long though. Owen, a video game freak, and I did not mesh well tonight. He irked me and after such a long time of simple emotions, I became utterly irritable and annoyed with him. Adrenaline surged and stomach acid built up. I made myself sick over him. Either he was enjoying egging me on, or he was utterly oblivious and stupid. I fear it was likely the latter; therefore, I cannot give much fault. I really wished one of the girls were there though. It would have been of comfort.<\/p>\n
Well, I think I should go to bed despite I lack the feeling of tiredness. For any other news, I will see the psychiatrist on the seventh. I hope it goes well.<\/p>\n
~The Vampire Owl.<\/span> (Whoot.)<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I read an entry in Kyle\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s journal. Psychology in regards of control was the main topic. The example was rape. The topic always was something of intrigue I suppose. Oddly, thoughts he wrote were something I had considered a long time ago. It is quite logical. Still though, for a person such as I, there […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-34","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-air"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=34"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=34"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=34"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nyxity-lee.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=34"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}