I suppose I am still a rather pessimistic person. I’ve been going down memory lane and thought of the people I had befriended on the Internet over the past decade. When I write befriended I mean really befriended. In all it is five people.

Jacqueline – Merc
Lori – Yorkie
Paul – princeofdarknessUK
Erin – Neko Otaku
Eileen – CrazyPuppY

Merc had been the first friend I made on the net to the point we knew each other’s real names. When was then? I know I messed on the computer back when I was around twelve. I think I met her around 1998. I read a lot more net fiction than I do now back then. That is how we met.
She wrote a fiction that made me laugh – something that was missing in my life. I was a depressed kid and she had made me smile. I wrote her an email or a review. I misread her pen name and she found it hilarious. After that I read all of her fictions and we got to know one another.
She was maybe a year older than me and she had a sister. I even knew what state she lived in. I was there when she put up a site and I contributed pictures to it. It was a nice time.
Well, as all things go in my life, we lost contact. She more or less dropped off the face of the Internet for all I know. I had tried her email, but pretty much… she’s gone.
A year or so later I met someone else. She was more than twice my age and a wonderfully funny, caring and sometimes annoying woman. Again, we met due to my emailing her about a fiction she wrote. Again, she had been a person to make me laugh. By then I was becoming very depressed so there were few things that made me laugh and smile.
She was a person who could listen to problem of a troubled kid, I found. It was rather relieving I found. I confided in her and she considered me as one of her “children”. I found out later she had other net friends, younger than her, that she considered her kids. They usually called her Yorkie-mama. I never really got into that.
It was meeting her though, did I finally get the courage to tell my mother my problems. One night I had been contemplating suicide and scared myself in the end. No one was on the net, so I couldn’t talk to anyone. It was in that moment I decided. I had been able to talk to a person I had never met in real life about my problems… so why was I so afraid to talk to my parents.
That night I woke my mother up and more or less poured my heart out to her for an hour full of sobbing and such. If I had never opened up to Yorkie and found a sort of solace in her listening to me… I doubt I ever would have told my mother such things… at least not so soon.
I kept up with Yorkie for about three to four years. In that time I learned a lot about her as well. She had a family of her own. She had a child and a husband. She had issues in her own past and despite so much darkness she turned out to be a lovely lady.
She dropped off the Internet around 2002. I never knew what happened to her. I can only guess… and what I guess is the worst possible scenario. As said, she had darkness in her life. A darkness that followed her through life had been confided to me. In loss I often wonder if it finally took its toll on her. I can do nothing to find out.
Sigh…
PoDUK… I met him around the time I was fourteen. We met on a forum. He was nice, friendly and actually talked to me, which was something that doesn’t occur often. We became friends and to an extent even more. I’d write more on him, but I know somewhere I wrote a good long entry on him back in 2003. It likely isn’t in this journal, but it is somewhere in my old one I am sure.
A funny thing though… We met again last night. We talked for hours. It was nice. He seems to be doing well in life and he’s learned what all has happened in mine since we last chatted. He doesn’t seem disturbed. Good times.
Next up would be Neko. I met her on a board back in 2004. Nice, friendly and fun to be around, we managed to befriend each other. Like all the previous people listed, I opened up to her enough to the point I showed her a story I worked on for years. Yorkie saw it when it had only been four notebook paper sheets long. PoDUK had seen it when developed more. Neko saw it near its ending process.
It was not long after her sister appeared on the forum. Before I knew they were related, I started befriending her. She went by CrazyPuppY. She was fondly shortened to CP. From then until 2006 we were friends. We worked on an RP together and had good times on that. We chatted, I learned a lot about their family and they learned about me.
The two of them and I were a lot alike in some aspects. I felt understood by them. We sometimes even spouted dreams of living together and the like. I admit, I never believed in such occurring, but it is nice to dream every once in a while just for a smile.
Time passed on though and they began trying to spread their wings. They had gone to a convention and I believe that is what began their awakening. They moved to NY for a time and we slowly stopped talking so much. They were growing and at one point they housed a friend from the board while he was tracking around the states. Slowly they disappeared from the Internet. The last I saw of them was an email from Neko during the summer of 2006.
Upon thinking of those relationships… it makes me think of dreaming. The Internet provides relationships that are like a nice dream I’d say. At least, it is for me. I sort of doubt a person can make a lasting relationship with someone over the net. At least, in my case that is so.
It goes nice, there are happy times and then… one day you wake up and it is all gone. That is how they work for me. One day a person just disappears. The funny thing is, I think I was the one who did that with PoDUK really rather than him to me. We found each other again, though, last night. While I lack interest in being hopeful I’m glad we talked last night. Maybe it will continue on. That would be nice, I think. Just as nice as I think it would be to see all the others again and rekindle something.

The two nights my mother and I tried to give my cat his IV treatments were successful, but he was terrified of us. We are amateurs so we often poked places other than his skin and sometimes the needle went through the skin… sort of like when stitching; went in and the end went out. Poor bugger…
We decided we weren’t cut out for the job and took him back to the vets the rest of the week. He was just fine when we took him in though, so we figured he knew my mom and I sucked at it. I didn’t expect to be decent at it in the first place. After all, I never was taught it first hand, I merely watched and remembered how to do everything. My mom forgot and I had to show her. Oi.
After that last vet visit, the doc says my cat is doing okay and could go down a bit on the fluids. So, we will be taking him in on Tuesdays and Fridays instead of every other week day. That’ll help on my pocket book and my cat won’t have to go so often. Yay.
Other than that… the rest of the past two weeks is a blur. A good amount of the time I was having a lot of fog spells or headaches. My sleeping patterns are in the “more insane than usual” category, I suppose. I have been sleeping at most three hours at a time. Meh.
My wrist is still healing too. Bugger. Yeah. I haven’t really drawn anything for two and a half to three months now. It was just this weekend did I start taking my brace off to try to strengthen my wrist again. Friday I tried keeping it off and only use it when doing something that wasn’t in the “light usage” category. That didn’t do right. Suddenly around evening pain was shooting up my arm. Bleh. Therefore I let it rest. If Saturday the pain was still there, I’d give it another day to rest.
Turned out I could take it off. I probably had it off for a couple of hours, but that was mainly due to my polishing some silver. Sunday it was off for an hour and a half. Today, I managed to keep it off for two hours. Tomorrow, I’ll try for three.
Other news… Denise contacted me once. I sometimes see myself as her therapist. She’ll pop up out of the blue, talk about how she was a bad friend to me when we were little and then she goes on about what is wrong in life. Yeah… Therapist. After that she disappears, but not before saying she’ll see me around maybe the next night. No bother.
In family matters, my eldest brother is coming back down here. Chicago isn’t working out for him or his girlfriend. Therefore, he intends to fall back on my parents and use the house my mom inherited from my grandmother and likely mess the place up again despite what little (and yet so much) progress we’ve been making on cleaning it up the few times we are able to go there. Oi!
For double groaning, he also is screwing my parents over again. That thing about the alarm systems in that house – did I even write about that in earlier entries? Anyway, that is still screwing them over as well as our neighbor. My dad is such an enabler, too. He has admitted to giving money here and there to E. Bro’. Enabler!
What makes it nuts though is that my parents have debts and such and my father speaks of regrets or such that he shouldn’t have retired. My mom argues he gets about the same amount now retired (he still works though) through his job, social security and something else. What is more nuts is that sometimes they ask me for money to help pay a bill or such. I’d be insulted that he feels he should give my E. brother money and yet still borrow money from me, but I know how he is.
Oh, but Dad isn’t squeaky clean either. He still bitches and complains. Talks about how he is miserable and deals with aches and pains. He doesn’t do anything about it. If I say he’s weird about anything, it is that – and it isn’t a good weird. My mom is the one who is the most peeved about it, of course.
He talks about how he doesn’t think he’ll live long as well. When ever he gets at her nerves, she often talks about how she thinks it is selfish of him to think such a thing wouldn’t affect us and that he won’t give in and go to a doctor. As said, he’s weird in a bad way.
I commented to him recently I’d almost call him a masochist, except I am not sure if he takes any pleasure in all the pains he complains but does nothing about. Oi. My mom told me this morning she thought I was right to comment on that. Go figure.
In other family events, my… second (?) cousin is having a wedding soon. It will be somewhere in the middle of this month, I think. Of course, I have no intentions to go, but my mom is. Good luck to her marriage.
Um… I guess I’ll just list appointments for a better chance of remembering them.
A week from now I’ll go into see the family doctor for physicals at 1:30. There are other things, but my mom hasn’t written them on the calendar. Next month it is a dentist, eye or something of such nature likely.

To the title… I guess the answer is yes. Blah.

Friday I freaked out at the mall because in the middle of the whole trip I lost my wallet. Other than that, Friday was uneventful other than getting haircuts. The weekend is a blur.

Monday I saw an orthopedic doctor about my wrist. It isn’t Carpal Tunnel Syndrome from what we can tell, so I’m relieved. I cannot remember or even recall knowing at the time as to what the problem was. Perhaps it was not clearly decided. Anyway, the brace-thing is still in use and seems to help. We will see him again in a month to see how it is then.

Tuesday and Wednesday are more or less a blur to me at the moment.

Valentine’s Day I saw a Neurologist. Ha!

Friday is a blur really.

Saturday my parents went off to get a black lab. They named him Augustus McCrae.

Sunday was pretty normal as far as I was concerned. My parents however received little to no sleep due to the new pup. He was whining all through the night apparently. My sister decided to come down as well to see the dog, spend time and eat dinner with us.

Monday was pretty much the usual. Tuesday was pretty normal as well other than that my mom left home aroundnoonto go to the town where a seminar was being held. Due to that my dad and I took my cat to the vet for his treatment.

Wednesday was a day of worry for me. When I got up that morning I couldn’t find my cat. I looked all over the house for him but couldn’t find him. I started getting a panic attack even.

Cats being notorious for being able to hide in the seemingly most impossible places, I gave up and hoped he’d be out and about later. Later came in a few hours and I still couldn’t find him. I searched everywhere again and checked the blinds. In such pursuit, I found him under my parent’s headboard. The bed’s headboard is a bookcase and has a hollow area inside it. I tried to get him out, but unless he decided to, I couldn’t get him out. Therefore I pulled the king size mattress as much as I could and got to him through that.

I was freaking out by then and kept telling him I wasn’t going to let him be alone like that. Animals go off to be alone when they are dying. I wasn’t going to let him be alone. So I stayed with him all afternoon. He wouldn’t eat though. I tried with wet food and dry food. It was a no go. He wasn’t even interested in water.

My dad came home around five as usual and we tried to get him to eat again. No luck. Later on my mom came back home around six or so. We told her all about how he was doing and she tried to get him to eat or drink. He eventually consented to drinking some water. I stayed with him still most of the time after until my parents went to bed.

Exhausted despite sleeping most of the afternoon and evening, I collapsed on my bed. I woke up around twelve. My chest was still hurting so I relented to taking what my mom dubs as “chill pills”. I can’t really remember the rest of the night. I was up untilfour thirtythough. I woke up again around nine. I checked on my cat. He is doing better today. He was actually hungry much to my relief.

The day was pretty much normal. I slept a good amount of it due to the emotional exhaustion from yesterday still affecting my body physically. I managed to get some of my chores done, but I was pretty much a zombie in truth. I took a nap from aroundnoonuntilfour thirty. My mom popped in and we took my cat to the vet. He got his treatment and during such my mom was learning how to do it for him. So, that was handled and from now on he will be getting his fluids at home. I kept myself awake the rest of the evening and it went on pretty much as usual as well. It is nine.

I’m still pretty out of it even now. Shame. I’ve been wanting to do some things but am too tired to focus. Oh well. Emotional drainage… It has been a while.

Night.

My sister’s dog died today. I was woken from my nap around four-fifty and was told by my brother. Charlie Brown was hit by a car on the highway after escaping out back yard.  He was only four. Sigh…

Mom liked her birthday gifts. She went to a seminar on Asperger’s on Thursday and spent time with my sister.
My sis’ has been having trouble as of late in terms of testing. She wants to get into a grad school. She has always had major test anxieties. As of late it has gotten to the point that she had a panic attack in the middle of one. My mom thinks she has ADHD or something… maybe it was just ADD? Sis’ is against seeing a doctor to test for it. If she did end up with such a diagnosis it wouldn’t do well for the job field she is pursuing to have such a thing on her records. Then there is the case of her lack of health insurance…
Um… the weekend went pretty normal. Eh… I got a brace/cast-like thing to support my wrist Saturday as my mom and I did some errands. It seems to be helping while being irritating at the same time. In any case, I feel sorry for people stuck in casts. They do not have the fortune to undo the thing to relieve the heat or the discomfort.
Sunday I was out most of the day for some reason. I rarely got anything done in regards to chores. In a later attempt to keep myself awake I watched a movie, but was soon out of it once it was finished. I did wake for the last time around ten that night. I did some chores and then worked on coloring a picture on the computer for hours on end until my wrists were becoming tired and my head was hurting. I slept for a while, woke up, saw my parents and did some more chores. After they left I got in my shower and spent time with my cat. I’m a sucker for him. After that I did a few more chores, retreated to my room and finished the rest of the picture.
By the end of Monday my mom pops in earlier than usual. She made an appointment to get my cat checked on. They ran blood tests and he is worse than before. We cried, “What are we doing wrong?!” The doctor says we are doing what we can. It isn’t us. My cat’s kidneys are what is doing wrong. Sigh. I found out what those levels were. BUN. His blood urea nitrogen levels should be at 35 at least. Nope… they are at 81 now. Sigh. To help flush out his kidneys the doc tuck him up to an IV and let 5 cc of some sort of fluid enter his body.
He lost a bit of weight too. The doc gave us another sort of prescription food on him. He took to it well. He was chomping down on it when we got home. Despite he took breaks in between, he ate all the serving we gave him… he rarely does that. Sigh… The result now is that… my cat has just months at best now.
Tuesday was just another day other than that I made some sort of inventory/record/list thing. My mom came home around 4:50 and we checked my cat in for another IV treatment. We got some more of the wet food he tried out the day before as well. Once done, we headed for home. Again, the rest is just as usual.
Wednesday was pretty much the usual. Again, around five he was at the vet to get some fluids. I paid for the services for the week, but found the woman apparently did not understand what my mom told her, so I simply paid for that day and my brother’s bag of cat food despite my mom had already aid for said cat food… Oh-kay… We of course intend to look into that again when we have the time.
Anyway, it is now Thursday, slightly after two. The day again has been the usual. Tomorrow shall not be, however. Why? Haircut Day. Pretty much that means I’m gone most of the day.

Friday was just another day really. Nothing to be said, I guess.
Saturday, however was a busy day. I woke around eight. My parents and I were going to stop by the house my E. brother and sister resided in for a good long while. E. brother moved out, as noted somewhere earlier. My sister moved out before him into an apartment. Now it is alone and in dire need of fixing. Yes, my E. brother is an utter slob and my sister is as well. My sister does have better hygiene though and is not gross like him.
Well, the stop was mainly to look the house over, check the security system on the house and the smoke alarms. Terrible stuff has happened that needs fixing. Basically, it was to see the damage.
We got there around eleven thirty, I think. Another thing to add to the list of neglect or abuse to the house was the A/C not working. It worked on batteries and those died. We needed to get things like light bulbs and such, so we left the house and went to the Home depot. ‘Got the things needed and we headed back. We were supposed to get the heater going once the batteries were placed in, so we called my sister to meet us at a restaurant for lunch. It was not so simple.
The A/C still had problems after the batteries were replaced. So, for a good long while my dad worked on trying to get it to come on and then when it came on it was only the fan. The home phone did not work for reasons unknown to me so there were issues when we called maintenance. We relied on my mom’s cell phone.
My sister was called and informed of the issues we were having, and thus stopped by at the house. I piddled and replaced light bulbs or used a broom to clean off cobwebs around the ceiling.
My dad had us go on to lunch without him. We would bring him something back. So, Mom, Sis and I got into the car and headed for lunch. I wasn’t feeling to well, so the food was not as satisfying as it usually would have been to me. There was discussion to go to Target to get some pillows and something else for the bedroom. We left eventually, dropped Dad’s food by the house and Mom talked to the neighbor.
My sister and I waited for her in the car. Sis has some studying going on, so I helped her out as we waited. It was mainly vocabulary. She apparently did not know any of it. I was surprised since I knew an okay amount. Not all of them, mind you… but I knew more than she did. It was interesting to say the least. My mom finally came out who knows how long later and we heeded for Ross rather than Target. Mom got pillows and that other thing. My sister got herself some pillows as well. We finally left for the house.
Upon return, my dad has disassembled the desk that had been my elder brother’s and he had the A/C working. Mom and I got to work. She worked on her bedroom. My sister left for work, I believe. Dad and I checked the fridge and together threw everything in it out. After all, my E. Brother was supposed to have emptied it when he left the place back in November. Oi. Once it was empty, I did my best to clean the stains and hardened liquids in it. Once that was accomplished I worked on the dishes in the kitchen.
When I did as much as I could, I piddled some. By then it was around four, I think. We all had done what we could for the day and soon enough we left for home. I cannot really remember the rest of the night. I think we all just sort of collapsed into chairs and eased out minds with TV. I think I went to bed early that night.
Sunday, my dad and I went to the grocery store after he returned from church with Mom. We got what was needed and returned. After putting everything up and a pause for a breather, he and I left for Wal-Mart to get some bird seed a water filter, printer ink and too look at some hard drives. They did not have much of a selection on the latter.
After we got home, my brother and Dad helped me get my old desk out of the room and reassemble my E. brother’s old desk. Pretty much they did all the work though. I just helped where I could. When assembled, my brother worked on plugging everything back in. Once settled, the computer was turned on again. My screen was blank. It is a normalcy. Due to that, we could not find out if I got the Internet. My dad’s computer got it, but my brother’s did not.
They left me be then and I worked on putting everything right. The cords were all tangled, so I planned on getting them reassembled neatly after I got everything else in order on my desk. It was a while before that happened and by then I was pretty tired, so I decided to put the cord rearranging off until I got a nap in.
My computer screen still had not worked by then, so my brother got fed up and tried to check out the problem by replacing it with others to see if it was the vide cartridge or the monitor. It was determined it was the monitor. So, while he and my dad worked on trying out things, I piddled off. I was too out of it by then. I took a nap in my parents’ bedroom.
I do not remember when I woke up again, but by then my mom wanted to watch TV, so we did. Somewhere in between my dad had cooked dinner. I think we finished the movie around eight. Anyway, by the end of it, I was rejuvenated again. My brother gave me his old computer screen. It had sort of died on him a while back, so he’s been using a different one. It works fine for me so far, though. Since all was settled, I headed for my room to work on putting the cords in order.
When my parents went to bed, I was still working in my room and later was on the computer pretty much all night. Come Monday, I was still up. Sometimes around three or four I started watching “To Kill a Mockingbird”. It was a good movie. Somewhere in between I stopped though since my parents had woken up. I took my medication and all that fun stuff. When the movie was over, I was satisfied with it. I left the room and talked to my mom about it and asked how true to the book it was. It was of course condensed, but she said it remained pretty true. I decided to look around for the book. I knew we had a copy in the house. I found it soon enough and told her I’d likely read it if I ever got in the mood.
I finally went to bed around seven after cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry. I pretty much slept all day. I woke around three in the afternoon, did some stuff and ended up hitting the bed again around four. I finally got up around six thirty. Mom wanted to watch TV together. Nothing was really on though, so she and I watched a Canadian mystery/cop show together. We watched something dealing with weather disasters. I was still tired, however and so retreated to my room when it was over and hit the bed once more. My mom came in a few times asking me things, but I don’t really remember.
I finally woke up again around twelve. I took a shower, cleaned the dishes in the kitchen and checked the laundry. After that I checked the computer.
I watched “Jack Ketchum’s The Girl Next Door” Tuesday in the ungodly hours. I started around one. I had been reading about it for a couple of days before deciding to watch it. The reviews caused me to expect the worst. I expected my stomach to turn or for my mind to have the inability to stop thinking about it. I expected it to be the sort of movie I’d be dwelling on for a while.
Instead… it is over. I remember readying myself for something horrible. I read up on the true event it was based on. I questioned if I should watch at night or day. I guess I am just too detached or merely too used to such things. Perhaps I am numb? Maybe I am sadistic? I do not know.
All I really remember was focus, occasional anticipation, dimmed disgust and thinking “I’ve written of such implications as well.” Perhaps I am a sick bastard?
Now the movie is over and I just wonder, why am I not affected more? I also wonder… am I reacting to it similar to the time I saw “Hostel”? I know I am not really, in observation. Hostel was just… “Oh, okay. That reminds me of the Spanish Inquisition.” This movie… just makes me think…”I’ve read of this stuff before… hell, I’ve written fiction of this stuff.”
I guess what I wonder most is… why? I wonder how human I really am at times when it comes down to human emotion. I suppose if I were really there… I’d react. I’d likely be cringing, looking away and trying to block it all out. I know I get easily frightened if my dad ever gets in one of his sour moods, and those are merely cursing at inanimate objects and slamming things.
I guess it was due to third person view. It is merely something I watched. Experience can be everything in regards to a human. Then there are those sensitive enough where just watching or reading something can affect them almost as much as experience can.
One really has to wonder though… human nature. People would probably say being sadistic is not a human nature. I don’t know though. You never see any other living creature be sadistic. It seems to be exclusively something that can occur in humans.
The mind is a frightening thing.
Anyway, the rest of Tuesday and all of Wednesday was pretty much normal.
Nothing else comes to mind.

I guess I just have nothing to write about. Everyone seems to be doing fine. My cat is still here to my relief. Our house is sturdy. We can eat. We can drink. We can buy other such necessities.
I know nothing to little on my sister and E. brother, but I take that to mean no news is good news. Other brother has risen to a higher position at his job, if I am not mistaken. Dad is his usual self. Mom has been losing weight and is positive over the process.
I am just me. My hand has been weakening at a rather quick rate as of late. I doubt it is early arthritis, though. I think I just strained my muscles there almost as bad as say tendonitis. Due to that, drawing is a no go. At times my hand hurts just from regular usage that deals with doing house chores and wielding eating utensils. It is pretty annoying, really.
Oh well.
I’m more for reading and watching movies at the moment. It has been quite a while since I’ve had a strange project come to mind. An urge, those are. Like web sites or mere need to research on something deeply. No worries though. Thinking on it, those don’t tend to come often. I just notice now since my life is not hectic anymore.
Other than a more stable disposition and what not… due to this odd, satisfying lifestyle, I seem to think more often on gratefulness. Once in a while at night as I’m in bed, I seem to do something similar to praying. Perhaps it even is praying.
I believe in change if anything. It is inevitable in this world and for creatures such as us as far as I am concerned. While I usually just give “hopes” that people who have affected my life in good ways are doing well and are happy at the end, I usually hope that the life I have now lasts.
I consider myself lucky. Looking at how different lives are in my limited abilities… I think I am damn fortunate. I’m glad I was adopted. I’m glad I was fortunate to have my parents. I am happy they chose to take me in. I’m in a good home. On average I have good siblings. We have comfortable shelter. We have clothes, nourishment and things that are not even necessary to survive.
Heh.
My past self would likely not have noticed all these things. Every once in a while perhaps I did, but not in the same way as I see them now. So much bad clouded things. It is always easier to focus on the harsher feelings over the good. It is always easier to let the negative out weigh the positive.
I hope I do not go back so far again.
Well, there is my “nothing” – nothing having an odd connection to “rambling thoughts that go off into oblivion and beyond”.

My mom and I were out doing errands today. The library was one of the stops. While my mom searched for certain books, I decided to look through one about Greek classics. I found nothing new, so decided to put the book up. In the middle up putting it back on the shelf my head suddenly hit vertigo and somewhat felt like it burst in a sort of heat. Next thing I know I was on the floor and a woman was checking on me. I fear I found the whole endeavor cool.

I asked the woman how long I was out, just in case. She said it was not long, just a couple of seconds. She relayed she heard me say “woah”. Then she either heard or saw me hit the floor. She kept asking me if I was okay for a while. I just kept saying sure. I bet she thought I was a nut.

Anyway, I figured I should get back down on the first level of the library in case such a thing happened again. My mom was at the computer/card catalog. I plopped down by her and asked her if I had ever keeled over before. She said no. After that I was all smiles and “Dude.” Mom, meanwhile, was of course worried.

On our way out she asked me if I ate, slept enough and how the whole thing felt. I had done such things and described to her about the burst of heat and such. She thought about stopping to get me something to eat or taking me home. I replied nay on both. So, we continued on with the last errand and then headed home. I figured in all logic I should probably lay down. I did and slept for maybe three hours.

So… yeah. I thought the whole thing was fun. Aren’t I a nut? I asked my mom at some point during all that, “There’s something wrong about me finding keeling over fun, isn’t there?” She said yes. Then she amended something about it… like “most people wouldn’t be giddy over such a thing”. Well… it was oddly exciting. I mean, I lost time! One moment I was standing and the next I am on the floor. I did not feel the fall or anything. I don’t know if I just fell over, if my legs buckled or anything. It was a “Woah.”

Yeah… I just wanted to record my first keel. Ha.