Category Archives: Entry

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Busy and Tired…

Friday I freaked out at the mall because in the middle of the whole trip I lost my wallet. Other than that, Friday was uneventful other than getting haircuts. The weekend is a blur.

Monday I saw an orthopedic doctor about my wrist. It isn’t Carpal Tunnel Syndrome from what we can tell, so I’m relieved. I cannot remember or even recall knowing at the time as to what the problem was. Perhaps it was not clearly decided. Anyway, the brace-thing is still in use and seems to help. We will see him again in a month to see how it is then.

Tuesday and Wednesday are more or less a blur to me at the moment.

Valentine’s Day I saw a Neurologist. Ha!

Friday is a blur really.

Saturday my parents went off to get a black lab. They named him Augustus McCrae.

Sunday was pretty normal as far as I was concerned. My parents however received little to no sleep due to the new pup. He was whining all through the night apparently. My sister decided to come down as well to see the dog, spend time and eat dinner with us.

Monday was pretty much the usual. Tuesday was pretty normal as well other than that my mom left home aroundnoonto go to the town where a seminar was being held. Due to that my dad and I took my cat to the vet for his treatment.

Wednesday was a day of worry for me. When I got up that morning I couldn’t find my cat. I looked all over the house for him but couldn’t find him. I started getting a panic attack even.

Cats being notorious for being able to hide in the seemingly most impossible places, I gave up and hoped he’d be out and about later. Later came in a few hours and I still couldn’t find him. I searched everywhere again and checked the blinds. In such pursuit, I found him under my parent’s headboard. The bed’s headboard is a bookcase and has a hollow area inside it. I tried to get him out, but unless he decided to, I couldn’t get him out. Therefore I pulled the king size mattress as much as I could and got to him through that.

I was freaking out by then and kept telling him I wasn’t going to let him be alone like that. Animals go off to be alone when they are dying. I wasn’t going to let him be alone. So I stayed with him all afternoon. He wouldn’t eat though. I tried with wet food and dry food. It was a no go. He wasn’t even interested in water.

My dad came home around five as usual and we tried to get him to eat again. No luck. Later on my mom came back home around six or so. We told her all about how he was doing and she tried to get him to eat or drink. He eventually consented to drinking some water. I stayed with him still most of the time after until my parents went to bed.

Exhausted despite sleeping most of the afternoon and evening, I collapsed on my bed. I woke up around twelve. My chest was still hurting so I relented to taking what my mom dubs as “chill pills”. I can’t really remember the rest of the night. I was up untilfour thirtythough. I woke up again around nine. I checked on my cat. He is doing better today. He was actually hungry much to my relief.

The day was pretty much normal. I slept a good amount of it due to the emotional exhaustion from yesterday still affecting my body physically. I managed to get some of my chores done, but I was pretty much a zombie in truth. I took a nap from aroundnoonuntilfour thirty. My mom popped in and we took my cat to the vet. He got his treatment and during such my mom was learning how to do it for him. So, that was handled and from now on he will be getting his fluids at home. I kept myself awake the rest of the evening and it went on pretty much as usual as well. It is nine.

I’m still pretty out of it even now. Shame. I’ve been wanting to do some things but am too tired to focus. Oh well. Emotional drainage… It has been a while.

Night.

by

Wrists and Cats…

Mom liked her birthday gifts. She went to a seminar on Asperger’s on Thursday and spent time with my sister.
My sis’ has been having trouble as of late in terms of testing. She wants to get into a grad school. She has always had major test anxieties. As of late it has gotten to the point that she had a panic attack in the middle of one. My mom thinks she has ADHD or something… maybe it was just ADD? Sis’ is against seeing a doctor to test for it. If she did end up with such a diagnosis it wouldn’t do well for the job field she is pursuing to have such a thing on her records. Then there is the case of her lack of health insurance…
Um… the weekend went pretty normal. Eh… I got a brace/cast-like thing to support my wrist Saturday as my mom and I did some errands. It seems to be helping while being irritating at the same time. In any case, I feel sorry for people stuck in casts. They do not have the fortune to undo the thing to relieve the heat or the discomfort.
Sunday I was out most of the day for some reason. I rarely got anything done in regards to chores. In a later attempt to keep myself awake I watched a movie, but was soon out of it once it was finished. I did wake for the last time around ten that night. I did some chores and then worked on coloring a picture on the computer for hours on end until my wrists were becoming tired and my head was hurting. I slept for a while, woke up, saw my parents and did some more chores. After they left I got in my shower and spent time with my cat. I’m a sucker for him. After that I did a few more chores, retreated to my room and finished the rest of the picture.
By the end of Monday my mom pops in earlier than usual. She made an appointment to get my cat checked on. They ran blood tests and he is worse than before. We cried, “What are we doing wrong?!” The doctor says we are doing what we can. It isn’t us. My cat’s kidneys are what is doing wrong. Sigh. I found out what those levels were. BUN. His blood urea nitrogen levels should be at 35 at least. Nope… they are at 81 now. Sigh. To help flush out his kidneys the doc tuck him up to an IV and let 5 cc of some sort of fluid enter his body.
He lost a bit of weight too. The doc gave us another sort of prescription food on him. He took to it well. He was chomping down on it when we got home. Despite he took breaks in between, he ate all the serving we gave him… he rarely does that. Sigh… The result now is that… my cat has just months at best now.
Tuesday was just another day other than that I made some sort of inventory/record/list thing. My mom came home around 4:50 and we checked my cat in for another IV treatment. We got some more of the wet food he tried out the day before as well. Once done, we headed for home. Again, the rest is just as usual.
Wednesday was pretty much the usual. Again, around five he was at the vet to get some fluids. I paid for the services for the week, but found the woman apparently did not understand what my mom told her, so I simply paid for that day and my brother’s bag of cat food despite my mom had already aid for said cat food… Oh-kay… We of course intend to look into that again when we have the time.
Anyway, it is now Thursday, slightly after two. The day again has been the usual. Tomorrow shall not be, however. Why? Haircut Day. Pretty much that means I’m gone most of the day.

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Cleaning, Projects, and Movies…

Friday was just another day really. Nothing to be said, I guess.
Saturday, however was a busy day. I woke around eight. My parents and I were going to stop by the house my E. brother and sister resided in for a good long while. E. brother moved out, as noted somewhere earlier. My sister moved out before him into an apartment. Now it is alone and in dire need of fixing. Yes, my E. brother is an utter slob and my sister is as well. My sister does have better hygiene though and is not gross like him.
Well, the stop was mainly to look the house over, check the security system on the house and the smoke alarms. Terrible stuff has happened that needs fixing. Basically, it was to see the damage.
We got there around eleven thirty, I think. Another thing to add to the list of neglect or abuse to the house was the A/C not working. It worked on batteries and those died. We needed to get things like light bulbs and such, so we left the house and went to the Home depot. ‘Got the things needed and we headed back. We were supposed to get the heater going once the batteries were placed in, so we called my sister to meet us at a restaurant for lunch. It was not so simple.
The A/C still had problems after the batteries were replaced. So, for a good long while my dad worked on trying to get it to come on and then when it came on it was only the fan. The home phone did not work for reasons unknown to me so there were issues when we called maintenance. We relied on my mom’s cell phone.
My sister was called and informed of the issues we were having, and thus stopped by at the house. I piddled and replaced light bulbs or used a broom to clean off cobwebs around the ceiling.
My dad had us go on to lunch without him. We would bring him something back. So, Mom, Sis and I got into the car and headed for lunch. I wasn’t feeling to well, so the food was not as satisfying as it usually would have been to me. There was discussion to go to Target to get some pillows and something else for the bedroom. We left eventually, dropped Dad’s food by the house and Mom talked to the neighbor.
My sister and I waited for her in the car. Sis has some studying going on, so I helped her out as we waited. It was mainly vocabulary. She apparently did not know any of it. I was surprised since I knew an okay amount. Not all of them, mind you… but I knew more than she did. It was interesting to say the least. My mom finally came out who knows how long later and we heeded for Ross rather than Target. Mom got pillows and that other thing. My sister got herself some pillows as well. We finally left for the house.
Upon return, my dad has disassembled the desk that had been my elder brother’s and he had the A/C working. Mom and I got to work. She worked on her bedroom. My sister left for work, I believe. Dad and I checked the fridge and together threw everything in it out. After all, my E. Brother was supposed to have emptied it when he left the place back in November. Oi. Once it was empty, I did my best to clean the stains and hardened liquids in it. Once that was accomplished I worked on the dishes in the kitchen.
When I did as much as I could, I piddled some. By then it was around four, I think. We all had done what we could for the day and soon enough we left for home. I cannot really remember the rest of the night. I think we all just sort of collapsed into chairs and eased out minds with TV. I think I went to bed early that night.
Sunday, my dad and I went to the grocery store after he returned from church with Mom. We got what was needed and returned. After putting everything up and a pause for a breather, he and I left for Wal-Mart to get some bird seed a water filter, printer ink and too look at some hard drives. They did not have much of a selection on the latter.
After we got home, my brother and Dad helped me get my old desk out of the room and reassemble my E. brother’s old desk. Pretty much they did all the work though. I just helped where I could. When assembled, my brother worked on plugging everything back in. Once settled, the computer was turned on again. My screen was blank. It is a normalcy. Due to that, we could not find out if I got the Internet. My dad’s computer got it, but my brother’s did not.
They left me be then and I worked on putting everything right. The cords were all tangled, so I planned on getting them reassembled neatly after I got everything else in order on my desk. It was a while before that happened and by then I was pretty tired, so I decided to put the cord rearranging off until I got a nap in.
My computer screen still had not worked by then, so my brother got fed up and tried to check out the problem by replacing it with others to see if it was the vide cartridge or the monitor. It was determined it was the monitor. So, while he and my dad worked on trying out things, I piddled off. I was too out of it by then. I took a nap in my parents’ bedroom.
I do not remember when I woke up again, but by then my mom wanted to watch TV, so we did. Somewhere in between my dad had cooked dinner. I think we finished the movie around eight. Anyway, by the end of it, I was rejuvenated again. My brother gave me his old computer screen. It had sort of died on him a while back, so he’s been using a different one. It works fine for me so far, though. Since all was settled, I headed for my room to work on putting the cords in order.
When my parents went to bed, I was still working in my room and later was on the computer pretty much all night. Come Monday, I was still up. Sometimes around three or four I started watching “To Kill a Mockingbird”. It was a good movie. Somewhere in between I stopped though since my parents had woken up. I took my medication and all that fun stuff. When the movie was over, I was satisfied with it. I left the room and talked to my mom about it and asked how true to the book it was. It was of course condensed, but she said it remained pretty true. I decided to look around for the book. I knew we had a copy in the house. I found it soon enough and told her I’d likely read it if I ever got in the mood.
I finally went to bed around seven after cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry. I pretty much slept all day. I woke around three in the afternoon, did some stuff and ended up hitting the bed again around four. I finally got up around six thirty. Mom wanted to watch TV together. Nothing was really on though, so she and I watched a Canadian mystery/cop show together. We watched something dealing with weather disasters. I was still tired, however and so retreated to my room when it was over and hit the bed once more. My mom came in a few times asking me things, but I don’t really remember.
I finally woke up again around twelve. I took a shower, cleaned the dishes in the kitchen and checked the laundry. After that I checked the computer.
I watched “Jack Ketchum’s The Girl Next Door” Tuesday in the ungodly hours. I started around one. I had been reading about it for a couple of days before deciding to watch it. The reviews caused me to expect the worst. I expected my stomach to turn or for my mind to have the inability to stop thinking about it. I expected it to be the sort of movie I’d be dwelling on for a while.
Instead… it is over. I remember readying myself for something horrible. I read up on the true event it was based on. I questioned if I should watch at night or day. I guess I am just too detached or merely too used to such things. Perhaps I am numb? Maybe I am sadistic? I do not know.
All I really remember was focus, occasional anticipation, dimmed disgust and thinking “I’ve written of such implications as well.” Perhaps I am a sick bastard?
Now the movie is over and I just wonder, why am I not affected more? I also wonder… am I reacting to it similar to the time I saw “Hostel”? I know I am not really, in observation. Hostel was just… “Oh, okay. That reminds me of the Spanish Inquisition.” This movie… just makes me think…”I’ve read of this stuff before… hell, I’ve written fiction of this stuff.”
I guess what I wonder most is… why? I wonder how human I really am at times when it comes down to human emotion. I suppose if I were really there… I’d react. I’d likely be cringing, looking away and trying to block it all out. I know I get easily frightened if my dad ever gets in one of his sour moods, and those are merely cursing at inanimate objects and slamming things.
I guess it was due to third person view. It is merely something I watched. Experience can be everything in regards to a human. Then there are those sensitive enough where just watching or reading something can affect them almost as much as experience can.
One really has to wonder though… human nature. People would probably say being sadistic is not a human nature. I don’t know though. You never see any other living creature be sadistic. It seems to be exclusively something that can occur in humans.
The mind is a frightening thing.
Anyway, the rest of Tuesday and all of Wednesday was pretty much normal.
Nothing else comes to mind.

by

Hope or Something Like It…

I guess I just have nothing to write about. Everyone seems to be doing fine. My cat is still here to my relief. Our house is sturdy. We can eat. We can drink. We can buy other such necessities.
I know nothing to little on my sister and E. brother, but I take that to mean no news is good news. Other brother has risen to a higher position at his job, if I am not mistaken. Dad is his usual self. Mom has been losing weight and is positive over the process.
I am just me. My hand has been weakening at a rather quick rate as of late. I doubt it is early arthritis, though. I think I just strained my muscles there almost as bad as say tendonitis. Due to that, drawing is a no go. At times my hand hurts just from regular usage that deals with doing house chores and wielding eating utensils. It is pretty annoying, really.
Oh well.
I’m more for reading and watching movies at the moment. It has been quite a while since I’ve had a strange project come to mind. An urge, those are. Like web sites or mere need to research on something deeply. No worries though. Thinking on it, those don’t tend to come often. I just notice now since my life is not hectic anymore.
Other than a more stable disposition and what not… due to this odd, satisfying lifestyle, I seem to think more often on gratefulness. Once in a while at night as I’m in bed, I seem to do something similar to praying. Perhaps it even is praying.
I believe in change if anything. It is inevitable in this world and for creatures such as us as far as I am concerned. While I usually just give “hopes” that people who have affected my life in good ways are doing well and are happy at the end, I usually hope that the life I have now lasts.
I consider myself lucky. Looking at how different lives are in my limited abilities… I think I am damn fortunate. I’m glad I was adopted. I’m glad I was fortunate to have my parents. I am happy they chose to take me in. I’m in a good home. On average I have good siblings. We have comfortable shelter. We have clothes, nourishment and things that are not even necessary to survive.
Heh.
My past self would likely not have noticed all these things. Every once in a while perhaps I did, but not in the same way as I see them now. So much bad clouded things. It is always easier to focus on the harsher feelings over the good. It is always easier to let the negative out weigh the positive.
I hope I do not go back so far again.
Well, there is my “nothing” – nothing having an odd connection to “rambling thoughts that go off into oblivion and beyond”.

by

Hello, New Years…

I never did see my siblings off since I slept most of the twenty sixth in response to all of the hubbub that went on during their stay. The rest of the week was spent on recuperating my body. On the 28th I saw Wynne. The meeting went as usual. She thinks I should see a neurologist though. Peh. I paid the fee for her and my mom and I left. We ate at Acapulco that night for dinner. Saturday was a blur. All I really remember was going out to get groceries and then lying down due to a headache.
Sunday my parents and I left home around ten forty-five to take a trip to see my great aunt. Around twelve thirty or so we picked up my sister and we arrived to our destination around one thirty. My mother’s… second (? … My mom so owes me a family tree still) cousin was there already. All of us sat around the living room, talked and such. My mother’s other cousin came around sometime later to check and do “man’s work” for my great aunt. Eventually, all of us settled in the dining area and snacked on cherry cheesecake. There was more talk and by four we left for home. We dropped my sister off and did not get home until around seven fifteen. I did some chores like laundry and dishes and eventually collapsed onto my bed around eight.
Monday was a rest day. I slept through almost all of it. Some of the reason was due to having headaches – I still wonder if my mom had given me my meds this morning. The other reason was likely just being tired from yesterday. Around noon or so I woke, did chores and such. Near one I finished vacuuming my parents’ room and my dad came home. He and I went out to do some errands. After eating lunch and a few other things I collapsed again and slept until four thirty. I ate dinner and read a bit since I’ve been getting in some books from orders I placed on a gift card from Christmas.
My parents were gone by then. They were at church. Coming home somewhere in the hours of six, it was determined that my mother did not give me my medication that morning. Once that was gotten, I headed to my room to go to sleep again. My head still was out of commission and my body felt like it was in water.
I woke around nine twenty. My parents were asleep. I snacked on cereal and worked on the computer shortly before taking a shower. I felt like my usual self again, much to my relief. My head did not hurt, I felt like I could actually focus on something and I didn’t feel tired-like. Yeay.
Shred popped up for a short time when I was ¼ in a book. He showed me some silly comedic video on YouTube. We chatted briefly and soon he silenced. I read a bit more, put the book down and worked a bit on a detailed drawing I started earlier in December. Since my hand is not too great for drawing long periods anymore, I take many breaks and draw only a little when I do. Still, it is turning out nicely thus far.
Anyway, my dad will be here all New Years day. My mom will likely be working as usual. We have the black-eyed peas and that is the most we seem to do for tradition. My mom’s resolution is to lose weight as usual. My sister surprised me in that her resolution being the same. I mean, dang, she looks just fine. Oh, well.
I don’t know anyone else’s really. Me? Nothing. Why? I am not really the ambitious, goal oriented type. I just want my life to go on as it has been. I seem to be in good health, I’m happy, and hope nothing changes drastically. After all, I don’t believe in forever. I believe in change.

by

Merry Christmas, Huh? …

Okay… This weekend I have been out of it… as in unconscious for the most part. I more or less missed my brother’s birthday. Instead of the perfume, he was expecting his house shoes, so my mom grabbed that out from under the tree and he got his shoes. I managed to go to the grocery store, got my things and then waited a long time on my father to get his. I was feeling really under the weather, so once everything was put up, I crashed.
Sunday was spent out of it for the most part as well. Sometime during my sleeping hours my sister arrived. Late afternoon or perhaps near evening my parents returned from picking up my E. brother from the airport. Pizza was ordered for dinner and everyone has been doing their own thing.
Somewhere in between or perhaps even all week, my hand has been dwindling on me. First it was simple cramping, then pain and exhaustion, then shaking, then slight impairing on using eating utensils and eventual pain when not even using my hand. This is mainly due to coloring old drawings of mine and of course drawing here and there. I have a picture in the works that is very detailed so far… I won’t be able to finish it before 2008 though. My hand is far too injured now. The funny/annoying thing is, I took breaks and rested it often. Sometimes I’d do as little as possible with it so I would be able to draw just a bit the next day. It just hurts. Oi.
Um… Monday would probably be dubbed movie day as far as I a concerned. I watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory around mid-day mainly because I could not focus my mind on reading or anything else. Later on, after my sister and father come back from getting some things from the grocery store, my sister finds I have not watched The Da Vinci Code. She thinks it is the time, so we sit own to watch. She fell asleep sometime through it. My dad watched with us only for some of the beginning. I cannot say it is something I’d buy, but it was a good watch. Heh.. I even guessed the thing to the scroll combination before “Robert” did. Ha, ha… Still, all that other stuff, I never would have figured out… so… yeah.
Later on dinner was cooked – pasta – and my brothers, sister and I watched a movie called Superbad. I was game and my E. brother, like me, had not seen it and wanted to. It was okay. We were all entertained, so that is a goody. As for the rest of the night… that is just a blur. I think I slept all night, I think I might have woken up, I think I just don’t know diddly.
In anycase, I got up around ten, I believe, this Christmas morning. I did chores, found my dad piddling around the house and that all my siblings were asleep. My mom was at work. After eating breakfast and having nothing to really do once I got what chores I could get done without waking my siblings, I just lay down and spend quality time petting my cat.
Come one thirty or so my siblings are up, my sister is the last. My mom soon arrives home and I’m still petting my cat. I eventually get up, my dad takes pictures of the family for a couple of minutes and my brother keeps looking at the presents impatiently.
Soon enough, we begin the unwrapping. My siblings went through their stockings. I warned my brother, who was taking them off the mantle for us that mine would have nothing since I helped fill all of theirs. He checked anyway. Silly human. My mom did get a stocking stuffer for me… Only, it did not fit in the stocking, so she stuffed it in a bag. Kitty house slippers to replace my flat, matted ones. Yay. My sister got a similar pair later on, but of monkeys. My mom even got herself a pair that were of dogs.
Anyway, Mom liked the gift I got her. She loved the necklace Dad spent on her and was thrilled when she received from my brother the yogurt maker she thought everyone forgot about.
E. Brother remembered my gift… I’m not sure what he truly remembers, but he and I talked about it before. In any case, he liked it. He got a gift card from our brother and I think it was a new phone or such from my dad, mom… both? He either lost his or just could not pay his bills on it… so… this was a sign of, “Call us, damn it! Also, receive our calls, double damn it!”
My sister was content with my gift, which were three packs of all the sour flavored jelly beans by Jelly Belly. I was right in my choice. The sours were her favorite. Yeay. My mom got her a gift set of gloves, a scarf and a hat. My brother got her a gift card. She had a Visible Changes gift card in her stocking and some other gift card I had never gotten a look at.
For a stocking stuffer my bro’ had received… I think a card to get gas for his car. He got his perfume and of course sprayed it on the moment he opened it. He got the fog lights I helped Dad get for him. When “allowed” he quickly got to work on his car.
Now, my dad was the best part. Well, my brother got him two CDs he wanted, of course, but what got him was the gift my brother, Mom and I pitched in together to get. He was in tears over it. Freaking humble guy, he is. He was going on about he did not deserve it. Ha. Right. He does not understand himself enough. Heh.
Me? As said, house shoes for a stocking stuffer. My gift card was to Amazon, which I had stumbled upon when checking my email earlier when I had woken up. My brother got me two things. A “fake” book – I do not quite know what I shall do with it, but it is very nice anyway – and a safe. Yes. I knew it was a safe as well. Heh. He apparently did not remember saying it to me, but that was how he got the idea for getting it for me to begin with. It of course received a knowing smirk. So… while he spent time on his car, I spent time on my safe. Heh. It is not like it will hold anything of importance to a robber, of course. Like I’d have something like that… No, I’m sticking in a journal my mom gave me, a book Shred gave me, some old writings by my E. brother, an old view master with reels my mom played with as a kid, an old deck of cards from, I believe, her college days and old trinkets of my grandmother’s.
Well, the rest of the day sort of piddled on, as usual. my dad worked on fixing supper. I watched television with my sister. My brothers were doing their own thing. My mom… I’m not quite sure. Dinner came soon enough at five. Everyone congregated and waited on my brother to take a break on his car. We finally all arrived, said grace and ate. Mid meal my sister spoke of being tired and soon fell asleep in the living room after leaving the table. My brother finished and went back to work on his car. I started cleaning up as did my dad while my mom and E. brother talked in the dining room still.
We soon went back to piddling. E. Brother started making homemade cookies. While the cookie dough batter was chilling, my brothers decided to go around the town and try out my dad’s Christmas present out. Heh. My dad… I’m not too certain. I had left him a bit after the cleaning. Mom and I gave my cat his medicine. My mom then decided to iron and then read her “Bones” book. My sister was either still asleep or watching TV. I snuggled under my mom’s blankets and into her bed for warmth. By eight or so, my mom wakes me up and I piddle off to my room to finish sleeping.
I woke up maybe an hour or so ago. I cleaned up the kitchen that was suddenly a mess again. The sink was full of my E. brother’s aftermath. Once everything was rinsed and the dishwasher was a full as it could get, I went off to started a load of laundry. Once all was set in motion, I ate a small bowl of leftovers and am now here. Yeah.

Well, My E. brother should be heading back for Chicago tomorrow. I do not know about my sister, but she will likely be going back to her apartment tomorrow as well. Friday I see Wynne. Sunday the family will be going to see Aunt Lillian. Nothing else comes to mind for the rest of this month.

by

Survived Another Year…

Well, my E. brother will be coming down for Christmas after all. While that is nice, it annoys me how little will my parents have. For a while they told him they would not pay for his trip down here. They caved. Well, my mom caved into my dad’s persistence really. My dad is such a softy. Why it bothers me is that it costs so much. My brother needs to quit relying on my parents’ money. I mean he is twenty-seven for all that is nutty. They have enough problems with money, bills, credit debts and junk. Sure, they say it is his Christmas present, and I know money should not matter so much over family time… but… my brother is one of the reasons my parents are in such debts to begin with. Sigh.
The beginning of the week hasn’t been really eventful. Thursday was my B-day. I was sent an e-card from my parents. I did my chores and then worked on an old picture I drew. While in the middle of it, my brother told me to come out. He wanted to show me something. He snatched a present from underneath the tree. Apparently it was my birthday gift. I opened it. It was a small oriental lamp/night light. I thanked him and he helped me put it together. After that I resumed on my picture.
Around noon my mom came home. She wanted to take my brother and me out for lunch. A birthday lunch apparently, but nothing interested me, so we went to Chili’s. It was just another regular lunch to me. We went back home, I went back to working on the picture and when it hit three-thirty I rested on my bed since I did not sleep much the night before.
Near four thirty my mom wakes me up to take my cat and my brother’s cat to the vet. Perhaps it was the abrupt awaking, but I felt like crap then. The doctor checked out my cat first. They drew blood and would run tests. They moved onto my brother’s cat, so I went back out into the waiting room with mine. The results were positive. My cat’s levels went down a bit. Instead of near seventy he is in the sixties. While we won’t be checking him in again until March thirteenth, perhaps fourteenth, I hope his level drops to the fifties in two weeks. He really should be at thirty-six at highest… What the levels are measuring, I do not know. I just know we want him near the thirties. This visit was “cheaper” than last time. 140 bucks. Oi.
We returned home around five, settled in, got out respective dinners and then gathered around to watch some television. After that my dad hit the hay, my mom was piddling about and I wished them goodnight before retreating to my room.
Friday was spent sleeping. Yeah, I was really out of it for some reason. We went out to eat at a Mexican restaurant and at some point we were talking about iPods. After learning about them a bit, I commented I might consider investing in one after all.
Saturday was grocery day. I took a nap after that because I had not slept the night before. After I woke up my dad showed me his iPod and gave it to me. I spent some time questioning him if he was sure about this and eventually I accepted it. I spent time learning how to work it and would occasionally ask my dad questions to reestablish my discoveries. During the early afternoon I worked on sorting things on it.
Around three, my mom and I went to do some errands. We went to get things for Christmas. It took a pretty long time and we got back home around six. Now, since the last time I ate that day was sometime in the morning before the grocery shopping, I was getting pretty low on my blood sugar count. My parents then began the process of making me some homemade French fries. Yum. I asked for that to be my B-day present. When they were ready I dug into them like a fiend. My mom and I then settled in her room and watched television together. Around ten I returned to my room and worked on putting my stuff in order with the iTunes. Around one I hit the hay.
Most of Sunday was spent mainly asleep. I awoke a bit before eight in the morning, did some chores and after my parents left for church I ended up falling asleep again. I awoke once more around two, did some more chores, worked on the computer and got a headache. I rested some and then dinner came. My mom and I watched a Christmas show while eating. When we were done it was seven thirty. My parents went to bed around eight forty and I around two to three.
It is now Monday morning. I woke up about an hour ago and did chores. We need air filters, damn it.

Anyway, this Saturday is my brother’s birthday. My mom got him cologne while we were out and about during the weekend.
My eldest brother will be coming down on the twenty-third. That is his birthday gift.
Then of course will come Christmas, which will be odd this year since my mom and brother work both Christmas Eve and day. We’ll likely do gift exchanging sometime around the end of Christmas day between when my mom is back from work and when my brother goes in around nine or ten.
The next day E. bro’ goes back up to the North.
The twenty-eighth is my day to see Wynne.

by

My December…

Well, on the third I saw the dentist. Other than some places they need to keep watch over, the lady said my teeth are fine. Yes! I just hope I can keep them that way. Oi.
I think it was Tuesday that I was out of it, but I cannot be too certain. Perhaps that was the day we did some errands.
Wednesday, my mom and I left for haircuts around eight thirty. We got there around ten fifty. Mom’s appointment started at eleven and mine at twelve, so I had an hour to kill. I always go to three places, but I know that I will never find anything I am looking for. It proved true this trip as well.
Thursday I cleaned and I think there was something added into all that, but I really cannot recall. Anyway, I took a brief nap and then my mom came by to have me help her with the storage shed. Yeah, we have a shed crammed full of things that are likely useless, but no one has really had the time to go through the items and decide what is needed and not.
My mom was hoping to do that that day. She was way over her head. Silly woman. We spent our time there sorting and in between checked at the Laundromat where she was trying to get a huge quilt-like top blanket. By the time the thing was to be dry, we stopped on our attempts in the shed. It was getting dark out.
Friday is a bit of a blur. I believe my mom got her nails done. When she came back we went to do errands. We stopped by the grocery store. She got some of the necessary groceries, while I got my usual. After that we stopped at a place called Sally’s to get her a new hair brush. Once home she got ready for a work related Christmas party.
She and my dad left around six thirty. My brother came home, got us some dinner at Chili’s and after I ate, I collapsed. I was out from seven until one Saturday afternoon. Dad meanwhile put up indoor Christmas decorations and the tree. When my mom was ready she and I decorated it. Some point later I hit the bed again, still out of it. My dad eventually comes in to tell me dinner was ready. I obliged, ate and I believe I passed out again.
Hm… Sunday I kept in my room most of the day. I meandered out here and there. My sister “magically” appeared somewhere in all that when I was spending time with my cat and suffering from coldness. I read, slept, read, slept and other things most of the afternoon. My sister and I watched an old video from 1998 when my cat was only eight weeks old. The day piddled on.
My brother at one point told me not to leave my room. I responded okay. A while later he comes back to tell me to keep away from the other side of the house – my mom’s room in particular. I respond okay. After a while I wanted to see my cat. I moseyed out and made sure I did not go passed the halfway point. I called to ask if I could meander out. No one answered. I called to him, my parents, sister and then anyone. No one answered. I sighed.
In the end everyone had been in my mom’s room. What was it all about? Guess. Christmas presents. It was something my brother got. Obviously it was something for me. Apparently everyone decided to look, watch or help him wrap it. Oi. Silly humans.
Dinner came, we had lasagna and in the beginning we were all in the living room. That changed after some minutes of watching the sort of comedy my brother and father prefer. Mom was the first to leave. My sister was the second. I held out. Some humor was gross and my father could not believe he was watching that with me next to him. I just smirked and kept eating. Once done though, I meandered off.
For a while I was in my mom’s room listening to her and my sister talk about a girl she (my sister) knew. Certain things made me go retrospective or something like that. I brought up things to my mom once in a while through the conversation in uncertainty. What struck me interesting though was at some point she said, “It is because of your autism.”
I’m not offended or anything, but it was interesting to actually hear that from someone else when not in some sort of session with one of my doctors.
Anyway, my sister eventually left around seven. I likely disappeared into my room around then.

Um… I guess that is it… other than notes, anyway. The thirteenth my cat is going in for a check up again. I am hoping for better results regarding his health. If it manages to be, I will be very happy. My little cat…
The fourteenth is not a day I go to see Wynne. That was indeed moved. I think on the twenty-eighth. I think something is happening then… but I am not certain.
Some one owes me homemade fries that weekend.
My brother’s b-day will be coming up on the 22nd.
Christmas comes.
Somewhere in between all that we are going to try to visit my great aunt.

Okay.

by

Keel…

My mom and I were out doing errands today. The library was one of the stops. While my mom searched for certain books, I decided to look through one about Greek classics. I found nothing new, so decided to put the book up. In the middle up putting it back on the shelf my head suddenly hit vertigo and somewhat felt like it burst in a sort of heat. Next thing I know I was on the floor and a woman was checking on me. I fear I found the whole endeavor cool.

I asked the woman how long I was out, just in case. She said it was not long, just a couple of seconds. She relayed she heard me say “woah”. Then she either heard or saw me hit the floor. She kept asking me if I was okay for a while. I just kept saying sure. I bet she thought I was a nut.

Anyway, I figured I should get back down on the first level of the library in case such a thing happened again. My mom was at the computer/card catalog. I plopped down by her and asked her if I had ever keeled over before. She said no. After that I was all smiles and “Dude.” Mom, meanwhile, was of course worried.

On our way out she asked me if I ate, slept enough and how the whole thing felt. I had done such things and described to her about the burst of heat and such. She thought about stopping to get me something to eat or taking me home. I replied nay on both. So, we continued on with the last errand and then headed home. I figured in all logic I should probably lay down. I did and slept for maybe three hours.

So… yeah. I thought the whole thing was fun. Aren’t I a nut? I asked my mom at some point during all that, “There’s something wrong about me finding keeling over fun, isn’t there?” She said yes. Then she amended something about it… like “most people wouldn’t be giddy over such a thing”. Well… it was oddly exciting. I mean, I lost time! One moment I was standing and the next I am on the floor. I did not feel the fall or anything. I don’t know if I just fell over, if my legs buckled or anything. It was a “Woah.”

Yeah… I just wanted to record my first keel. Ha.