Tuesday I learned my Great Aunt tripped and broke her ankle. Mom said she’d likely have surgery the same day as my brother – Thursday. She’s getting up there in her years. Mom said she’s around eighty-five now. Well… after all that she’ll likely have to be put in a place to be looked after properly since her daughter, my mom’s cousin, can’t be there all the time due to work and all.
I also learned my brother’s thing isn’t caused by STDs according to tests. They still only know it to be a mass though and the surgery will cost $5,000. That isn’t including the prepping and all that other stuff… just the removal. Oi.
Wednesday night I asked about my brother’s surgery. My mom told me he’d go on at nine thirty and would wait an hour, getting prepped and such. Surgery would likely start at ten thirty. The surgery should last forty five minutes or so. After that he’d be under anesthesia for two hours. The earliest he’d likely get out was one.
He and my mom talked on the phone. My brother has work insurance, but they don’t cover the doctor he has. Mom mentioned things being worked out though since said doctor is the only one who specializes in the area within a certain radius… I think she said fifty mile?
I admitted a part of me wondered about karma. While my brother isn’t essentially a bad person… he has done some bad things in life. As said, he’s already put in a ton of toxins in his body since… maybe when he was twelve. Then I remind myself that bad things happen to good people though. At most my brother is the gray area.
Still, it is a very intense situation. While I tend to numb up in these scenarios, I do feel sorry for him. My mom admitted he sounded close to breaking down when he talked to her on the phone. She said he actually admitted being scared to her and neither of us can remember a time he’s really said such a thing before.
He told my mom he didn’t want us there while he was at the hospital. I can understand why he wouldn’t want Dad there. I think he’d be uncomfortable at most with me there, but not afraid I’d freak out. He’d be fine with just my mom there, but then dad would come. It was agreed to. Mom and I easily understood. My dad didn’t say anything but did agree as well.
As noted times before in previous entries… my dad does poorly when it comes to bad situations if they should concern the family. He usually doesn’t know what to do, gets panicked, yells, becomes irritable or when semi-fine he cracks stupid if not lewd jokes. If he went to the hospital he’d likely fret like mad, pace the entire time and be restless. Knowing that, my brother just didn’t want that happening. It would have made him more nervous and as my mom kept noting, it would make him feel even less in control.
While my mom is the pillar of the family, my brother has been an additional pillar at times too. Since my dad doesn’t handle these situations well, it was usually my brother who stepped in and took command. While my brother has been scared through this he had asked my mom to look after dad. It is just how it is. We worry about worrying my dad. So we usually talk to mom first if not only. Pretty odd I guess… the one going into a life changing surgery worried about the sanity of a family member who is on the side lines.
It is all about the illusion of the control one processes I think.
Dad thinks he can’t control something he flounders and panics.
Brother finds himself in a spiral and he’ll try to find what he can control even if it is something small.
My mom keeps faith, logic and some empathy on her. One might say she puts herself in God’s hands most of the time. She prays.
Me? I’ve concluded a long time ago almost everything is an illusion. Reality is a fragile illusion we use to make ourselves feel safe. It is all about control. So… I just kind of go numb and go with the flow. What happens will happen.
Anyway, it was decided that my parents would be called and when he was okay to go they would pick him up. My dad went to bed after mom relayed enough of the phone call to him. She and I stayed up until ten after that. We talked a bit, I made sure I knew what was happening, we talked about possible cancer and she eventually went onto bed.
I talked about it some with Neko. She had some family problems herself as well, but didn’t share. Oh well. The rest of the night was just enjoyably chatting with her.
I woke up later than usual this morning. I got in my walk, dusted and did some chores. After that I sat outside with my mom while she said plenty of prayers.
My brother went in as planned. We were still outside when we assumed he was just getting into surgery. Mom went out walking and Claire, a woman who’s worked with my brother, had gone all the way to the hospital to see him without any of us knowing. She kept trying to call my mom with our home phone but she kept getting cut off. She did eventually get her on her cell. My dad came home during lunch time and stayed after that.
Well, when one came around my parents left to go to the hospital. I stayed home. My brother went back to his own place and my parents came home. From what I hear he was snappy, protective and yelled at my dad when he got too catering. My brother even got out of the wheel chair before it got to the car, so the nurse just kept wheeling it behind him as he walked.
My mom of course rationalizes all of it. My brother is scared, worried if it is cancer, what will happen to him if it is, his manhood being at stake and all that jazz. He apparently went on about how my father is treating him as a little kid and my mom sees it as control issues. Lack of control over his life is bothering him and all. So, she drove.
Dad started tending to the yard, likely due to nervous energy or stress. My brother texted my mom to ask her to apologize to dad. So… yeah.
Now we are just waiting to find out if the tumor was cancerous or not.
I crashed after that. It was three and I woke up again around five to five thirty… maybe? My “Aunt” called. She gave my mom a progress report on my Great Aunt. She went into surgery too today. They set her ankle and moved her to a rehabilitation place. On the way there, however, her chest began having pains. With her heart condition it could very well have been mild heart attacks. The people then tried to take her to another facility. My aunt and her daughter had no idea about this and had been waiting for her to arrive at the rehab place. Sigh… So, what will happen after this… who knows?
Other than that, the rest of the night has been normal. Yeay…
Oh yeah… I did something to over strain my ankle somehow. I rested it on Tuesday. Wednesday it hurt too much though. I walked on it again today but wound up returning to my semi-limp mode. I’ll rest it tomorrow and try a lighter walk the next day I guess. How annoying…