10 Firsts…

First Friend: Jill, before we even went to kindergarten.
First Imaginary Friend: I do not think I had any.
First Pet dog name: I am not terribly fond of dogs… well, I simply would not want to own one.
First Piercing: Ears when I was in second or third grade.
First Crush: Third grade, brown hair, hazel eyes… I’m a sucker for that combination it seems.
First CD: It was one my dad burned for me… it was a bunch of Japanese songs.
First Car: That is hilarious.
First School: Travis Elementary.
First Kiss: Well, that is very personal… also, it is too vague for me.
——————————————-

9 Lasts…

Last Time You Smoked: Never.
Last Food You Ate: Ramen, oriental flavor.
Last Car Ride: Uh… sometime earlier this week… maybe on Wednesday?
Last Movie You Watched: Boogie Pop Phantom, tape one.
Last Phone Call: That was too long ago… from, my dad likely… to, a machine to order my meds.
Last CD You listened to: My Gravitaion one.
Last Bubble Bath You took: A bubble bath? Have I ever had a BUBBLE bath?
Last Song You listened to: Its not a Fashion Statement, its a Deathwish… I need something else to listen to soon…
Last Fight: Uh…
——————————————

8 Have You Ever…

Have You Ever Dated a Best Friend: Nope.
Have You Ever Been Arrested: Nope.
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: Yuck.
Have You Ever Been on TV: Sadly.
Have You Ever Kissed Someone and Regretted It: Nope.
Have You Ever Cheated on Your bf/gf: Never.
Have You Ever Been on a Blind Date: Never.
Have You Ever Been out of the Country: You might say that.
——————————————

7 Things You are Wearing…

– Glasses.
– Tank top.
– Watch.
– Chain dog collar on my wrist that would require two pliers to get off.
– Jeans.
– Hair tie.
– Necessities.
————————————–

6 Things You’ve Done Today…

– This.
– Laundry.
– Shower.
– Ate.
– Tossed in bed all night.
– Thinking (about trying to go to bed again.)

————————————-

5 Favorite Things (no specific order)…

– Fool. (Smirks.)
– My parents.
– My computer/with its Internet and word processor.
– My “art collection”.
– My cat.

—————————————-

4 People You Most Trust (no specific order)…

– Mom.
– Kyle.
– The Twins.
– My cat.

—————————————–

3 Choices…

– Vanilla or Chocolate: Vanilla.
– Hugs or Kisses: Hug.
– Pens or Pencils: Pens.
——————————————–

2 Things You Want to do Before You Die…

– Make sure my things (writings and drawings) “live on” (are not thrown away the moment I die.)
– Be with the people I care about.

———————————————

1 Person You Want to see

– At the moment or at some point? I’d like to see the twins at some point. At the moment… my cat… kitteh… Love.

Okay… enough with that. Notes…

My dad will be arriving today.
I’ll see my brother, his girlfriends and I believe my sister some point this weekend.
My mother had me order my meds over the phone… I screwed up in the end though… BAH!
I finally saw Sweat Punch 3 Comedy by Studio 4C – that is a happy day.
My brother surprised me the other night by giving me two swords – one is a katana, the other is… well… a sword.
I’ll be seeing the therapist this coming… I think Wednesday.
CP and Neko are dead, Jim. Sobs…

Nyxity: Though in all truth, I’m like a six year old or something…
Make: six years old?
Nyxity: Yeah.
Make: how old are u really and why do u consider yourself 6 years old?
Nyxity: I did not really… uh… grow up. Emotionally and all of that crap.
Make: blah
Merk: How so?
Make: as long as u know right from wrong
Merk: Do you throw tantrums?
Nyxity: Just recently I had my first time going into a convenience store and bought something.
Make: and do nothing really stupid your grown up
Make: how old are you nyxity?
Nyxity: I tend to forget to breathe during that sort of stuff… and…
Nyxity: yeah.
Nyxity: your age.
Make: yea
Nyxity: I was not taught many life skills.
Make: forget to breathe?
Nyxity: Yeah. I do that often.
Make: O.o mmm
Nyxity: Yeah…
Make: i thought u learn that naturally… as a baby
Nyxity: If I do something like run to get something, I realize I have not breathed until I have done the task.
Make: wow
Make: mmm
Make: your a guy or a girl?
Nyxity: The few times I have tried buying things on my own, I forget to breathe and when done and out of the store, I realize I have not breathed and I feel sick.
Nyxity: I question gender really. Most of the time, I say guy, but I am actually a girl.
Make: maybe your just very, very nervous when your buying things
Nyxity: Apparently.
Nyxity: :/
Make: relax
Nyxity: Heh. They say I have an anxiety disorder.
Make: the store dude in there is trying to make money. not scare you
Make: yea
Make: maybe you do have anxiety disorder
Nyxity: Oh, I know that. It is just a natural progression for me though.
Make: just try your best to calm down. get a friend to come with you the next time u buy something
Nyxity: Laughs.
Make: make sure he or she keeps reminding you to breath
Nyxity: I have no friends. I think we established that once before actually.
Merk: What about the twins?
Nyxity: Can they go with me into a store?
Merk: Oh
Merk: Nope
Nyxity: I am talking about the kind you can feel, touch, see and hear at the same time… in other words, “real friends” as my psychiatrist puts it.
Nyxity: Bleh… I am fine with cybernetic ones.
Merk: Same here
Merk: Some of the best people I have met have been right here in the chat room.
Nyxity: “Real ones” cause too much stress for me.
Merk: And they tend to impose.
Nyxity: Yep.
Merk: *yeah, they
Nyxity: Anyway… I have been fine enough with how I have live so far… in terms of how I do socializing. Apparently it is not good enough. *Dodgy*
Merk: I have tried socializing, going to parties and outings.
Nyxity: Those… would bore me beyond end.
Merk: I figured it would get easier, but it doesn’t. It was boring, awkward, and frustrating.
Nyxity: Yep.
Nyxity: :/
Nyxity: huh… Apparently is is now dark… Gotta look for a light.
Merk: kk
Nyxity: That ever happen to you?
Merk: Did what happen?
Nyxity: The day is freaking bright and then the next time you look up it is pitch black?
Merk: Yeah.
Nyxity: Sort of helps that I keep the shades down all the time though.
Nyxity: 😀
Merk: Sunlight’s harsh.
Merk: …whatever it looks like.
Nyxity: So, has the Ceep and Nekotu been entering here off an on since their comp has fried?
Merk: Not that I know of, until now.
Nyxity: Nods. Figured.
Merk: They completely vanished from Fandom, forum and chat
Nyxity: I tend to as well, for certain intervals, but I figure that is normal for me.
Nyxity: You ever talk with Blue?
Merk: Yeah. She’s silly, but sweet. Silly being a good thing, imo..
Nyxity: :/
Nyxity: Curious. I sort of avoid talking to her… she always gets the wrong idea, and I usually have no idea what she is saying. -__- I like her… sometimes I want to comment on something… nope… wrong idea. *dodgy*
Merk: I think she gets her wires crossed, English not being her first language.
Merk: soblue: Merk, u r okay Ponperipon: heh soblue: I love fat guys
Merk: lol
Nyxity: heh
Nyxity: :/
Nyxity: Oh, I realize that well. I just have no idea what she is saying and when I do she also has no idea what I am saying… blah, blah… I sort of give up. Gets me nowhere other than making her leery of me.
Make has left the room.
Nyxity: Scared him off.
Merk: He does that a lot.
Nyxity: Nods
Merk: Bad net connection, I think.
Nyxity: Still, I just like typing that. Along with the bit about eating people.
Merk: Cannibal
Nyxity: ‘Don’t eat meat in real life… might as well be a cybernetic cannibal.
Nyxity: Yep!
Merk: Hannibal, even.
Merk: Living off a dream?
Nyxity: EH?
Merk: I thought that was what you meant.
Nyxity: heh
Nyxity: nah…
Merk: Gaining sustenance by eating people, cybernetically.
Nyxity: it just is oddly fun.
Nyxity: [Link]
Nyxity: I’m left handed.
Merk: “Forbidden”
Nyxity: shame.
Make entered the room.
Merk: Welcome back
Nyxity: ’cause I hell am not letting you see my account. I’m paranoid like that.
Merk: Don’t blame you.
Nyxity: Half the stuff I do, is likely only seen by two to four people out of the entire earth’s population.
Make: thx
Make: nyxity, it may be hard
Nyxity: *Lost*
Make: but i think the first thing you need to get is to make a friend outside of the internet
Nyxity: Yeah, that is what the psychiatrist lady and such are getting at.
Make: mmm
Nyxity: I’m willing to try… but the thing is… I don’t like hanging out and junk.
Make: mmm
Nyxity: In the end I’d have the person meet me on the internet and we’d do everything there.
Merk: We need more otakus in the world.
Make: i’m not a big fan of hanging out either unless the friend lives very close by
Nyxity: I did not even do that that much when I had a friend who was my next door neighbor.
Merk: Bah, I’m being booted.
Merk: Back in a few
Merk has left the room.
Nyxity: I mean, hanging out was just like… lounging around in a room and just… doing nothing.
Nyxity: I have better ways to spend my time, despite people would argue that I’m doing nothing. If not, it was driving around in a car and wasting fuel money…
Make: when hang out, me and my friend would either watch anime, movies or play video games
Make: thats bout it
Nyxity: Never knew anyone who liked anime around my areas.
Make: i’m sure theres someone. u just didn’t meet them yet
Nyxity: Well, once in a while I saw a few… but…
Make: too shy to speak?
Nyxity: We were on different spectrums.
Make: mmm
Make: i c…
Make: mmm
Nyxity: You have your fanatics, those who just like reading, those who are into whacking each other with things for roleplay… video gamers…
Make: try this
Nyxity: I never really found anyone who was like my case.
Make: write a not saying “remember to breath” put it in your wallet
Nyxity: heh
Make: so the next time u buy something from a store you would see that note as u take out your cash then you better remember to breath
Nyxity: my last endeavor, which was getting a coke from a convenience store, I was chanting that in my head.
Make: mmm
Nyxity: I likely looked like a zombie. I did remember to breathe. I just don’t remember anything else. 😀
Make: hey, at least thats a improvement. next time, try to remember to breath and what you were buying
Nyxity: Well, you are talking to a person who will either forget to eat but remember to sleep, or forget to sleep but remember to eat.
Make: everything takes practice. you’ll remember it will sooner ot later
Nyxity: Yeah, well I’m practicing on things people do just by… um… nature.
Make: you can do it!
Nyxity: laughs
Make: don’t give up
Nyxity: I try anything… I think that is the only reason I have survived so far.
Make: don’t worry if it’s natural or not
Nyxity: I don’t. As, said, it is my nature… so I guess… I am trying to go against my nature until it becomes something different. I mean, when I do things like the whole getting something from a store, I’m not afraid of people… I’m just lost as hell in a sense. I know what I have to do, I know how to do it… my body just does not want to or something.
Make: i c
Make: i think i know how it feels somewhat
Nyxity: It is so fun being a screw up. *Smirks*
Make: sometimes when i walk into a store, i just don’t feel right unless i buy something
Nyxity: I guess that is why I function on the Internet so well.
Make: doesn’t feel right to not buy something
Nyxity: Yeah… that is the way of it.
Make: so i end up buying something. cept your situation is a bit different
Nyxity: You just sort of see the people behind the counter eyeing you sometimes. 😀
Nyxity: If I could control my body from far away rather than inside, I’d do just dandy I think.
Make: mmm
Make: try this…
Nyxity: Heaven forbid if I figure out how to play video games.
Make: listen to a mp3 player or a cd player with your favorite songs while inside a store
Nyxity: I’d probably forget what I’m doing then.
Make: no you won’t. you’ll remember
Nyxity: You’d be surprised.
Make: and you’ll ignore whatever noise is outside your headphones
Make: just try it. it might work
Nyxity: I’m the type who will enter the kitchen. I’ll be going to check if my clothes are done. I walk passed the trashcan and say, I need to change that when I go pass again. The clothes are not dry, I turn and tell myself I’ll change the trash and take it out then… I leave the room, go by the trashcan, and forget about telling myself to do the thing completely. Then an hour later or so I’ll remember. I’ll take out the trash. On my way back in I’ll say, “Okay, I need to replace the bag now”. I enter, I walk right pass the trashcan. Sometime later, I’ll remember. Simply put, being me is… interesting.
Make: mmm… it sounds kinda cute… being a klutz and all… >__<
Nyxity: Laughs
Nyxity: I have never been called that before.
Make: anyway, try your best at remembering! everyone has stuff that they are good at and stuff that they are bad at
Nyxity: Nice to know I’m bad at thinking.